Wandering...

I am here at work looking forward to the clock ticking towards my eventual leaving.  Ah, the joy of leaving someplace that you really don't want to be.  It's not that I hate my job.  On the contrary.  This is probably the best place for me to work, given my temperament.  I really don't answer to anyone.  And I can come and go at leisure.  I have my responsibilities.  And I more than meet them.  So why do I look so forward to leaving this place ?  Because it means that I can go out and do all the crazy things I love to do.  My soul is not that of an office-dweller.  I have wander-lust.

I think that's why I never really got upset with Whopper when he would wander off.  He couldn't stay cooped up at home either.  He loved to wander.  Sometimes he'd bring home friends.  Then we'd have to find their owner.  But that was fun, too.  He always came home.  Except for the last time.

It was New Jersey and Dennis and I were in the midst of packing the house to move back to Florida.  My father had come up to help us with the move and while they were loading the moving truck with furniture, Whopper walked out.  When I came home and asked where he was, no one knew.  I waited all night for him.  He didn't come home.  We were leaving the next day and before we left, I scoured the neighborhood and made the neighbors swear they would call if they found him.  But they never called.

I truly believe that Whopper knew how sick and old he was and knew that he would never survive another move.  He'd been through all of our others.  I guess he wasn't wiling to go through another.  I believe he left...no looking back...for all of us.  Knowing that he would only get sicker and less able to take care of himself. 

I hate when anyone is noble like that.  To deny us the chance to take care of someone we love to the very end.  Whopper was my friend and companion and very much like a beloved child.  And I couldn't say good-bye. 

I think that's why I get so upset with my parents when they give me that same speech.  "We don't want to be a burden, we just want our own place, etc.".  I have to respect their wishes.  But it doesn't mean I have to like it.