Path

 

I'm not sure where this will lead me, this path I'm on.  I've always said I want to be an actress, I want to be a working actress, I want to make my living as a working actress.  And now I have the chance.  Was it so wrong to pursue another path while keeping this one in sight ?  There are so many others who stayed on the one path, never faltering, and they saw great hardship, but stayed true.  I now have the chance to get on this path.  I don't think I'm any less worthy just because I chose to not do it the way they did.  I found my own way of staying on the path.  And now I've arrived.  Or at least, I've arrived at a new spot.  Where this path will lead me, I look forward to finding out.

Que sera, sera

I've attached this clip for 'Que sera, sera".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZbKHDPPrrc

It's a simple way of explaining that looking into the future is not what we should be doing.  Just live in the present.  Live in the moment.  Just be (thank you, Whopper).  Do your work, put it out there, manifest the reality and GO. 

Stephanie Wynfield

I got it !!!!!!  Stephanie Wynfield.  She's the receptionist for the dentist.  And apparently has the eye for him.  I don't know much else.  I'm hoping the package with the script and contracts et al will be showing up soon.  Won't this be cool ???!!!???  A TV pilot !!!  How amazing is that !!  Yippeee !!!!

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans

I had the urge to hear this song as it was originally done by Billy Holiday and Louis Armstrong.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhkxy3ei8os&feature=player_detailpage

I'm waiting to hear from New Orleans about my audition

 So I find this clip on YouTube and it says it comes from a movie done in 1947 called "New Orleans".  The clip starts and interspersed with what is glorious music from the mouths of Ms. Day and Master Satchmo are these white folk.  Now don't get me wrong.  White folk are OK.  I happen to be one of them.  It's just that, in order to give these 2 stars a chance to be seen and heard by mainstream audiences, they had to be enveloped by a "white" plot.  It just shows how frightened people can be.  And how they still are. 

Watching the Republican National Convention just emphasized how "other" I am.  If you're not lily white and are willing to close the door on anyone not like you, then you can belong.  And it worries me how many people are with them.  Their fear is palpable.  As is their hatred.   I guess bringing up Third Reich analogies is cliche, but ...

And I worry that my friends are afraid to speak out because it may alienate other friends.  If someone is willing to proclaim you an "other" because you will not tolerate their hatred, are they really a friend ?

Trust

Dennis has his 2nd angioplasty tomorrow (all manner of prayers and good wishes gratefully accepted).  We want this to work so badly.  Living like this has been hell, both for him and me.  He says it doesn't bother him.  Bullshit.  Of course it does.  His heart is at stake (no pun intended).  Thank goodness I have the boss and co-workers I have.  They have been doing everything they can to cover for me.  Bless you Analytics group.

My husband will be going under the "angioplasty" with a wonderful doctor named David Jurkovich.  What a guy.  He actually listens to you.  Imagine.  A doctor who actually listens to his patient.  I am so impressed with this man.  Nothing forced or pushed.  Just easy, relaxed, wanting to help.  I like this guy.  A lot.  And so does Dennis.  We trust he will do well for us.  And I know he will.

Time

I haven't posted in a while.  While I haven't been gone, I haven't actually been burning to continue.  You see, I've started a journal and I try to add to it daily. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.  The time is what's not steady.  I wish I had a steady time to write to my journal, to write to this blog.  But I don't.  It's not that I don't want to.  Believe me, I do.  It's just that I can't seem to fit it in to what else is happening in my life at the moment.  It would be nice to say "From 1 to 2 I'll journal and from 3 to 4 I'll blog".  But no dice.  I have no control over my time.  What a joy that would be - to be able to control my time.  Oh well, maybe one day.

My Whopper

I got the callback yesterday and I'm still over the moon.  Who'd of thought I'd be this way?  So giddy?  And childish ?  Yep, Whopper would.  He's seen me in all my moods and temperaments.  And he would always be there, no matter what, to see me through.  Thank you, my special friend.  Who knows where this one will go, but I know you'll be there through it all.  I love you, Whop.